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This is Why I Read Craigslist Missed Connections

Girl with EyePatch Scowling on the Downtown 6 - m4w - 30 (110th Street)

When I woke up from my train nap at 110th street on the downtown 6, you were sitting—hunched—across from me. You had on a glorious black eye patch over your left eye with a white butterfly printed in the center, which I first mistook for a skull and bones. I guess I was still half-asleep. Anyway, you had beautiful red hair and a white bandana on, plus a tattoo on your arm that looked like George Burns. Or maybe it was supposed to God, like some ironic hipster joke. 
I don’t care if it was ironic or not, God or not, it was hard to forget. So was your scowl. I don’t know who you were scowling at, maybe it was me, maybe it was everybody. You were doing a whole, slow, head-swivel thing like a vulture perched over a dying man in the desert might do. Not that I’ve ever seen a vulture do that, I’m just imagining. 

I was the guy in all white clothes with the black and white shoes, and the unfortunate milkshake stain on the belly of my shirt, not that you noticed the stain, but I’m trying to be super specific. 
You winked at me or at least I think you winked at me. Maybe you just blinked. I have no idea what the eye underneath your patch was doing, but the one I could see definitely closed then opened and it looked deliberate. You were also making that weird, open-mouth half-smile half grimace that cartoon characters and silent movie actors do when they wink. 

I got off the train at 34th street and accidentally hit my knee when I stood up and said, “Aaargh!” which was just about the unexpected knee-pain, not any sort of stupid pirate joke or anything. I smiled at you and our eyes definitely met. (Eyes and eye? That sounds Rasta, but I’m not trying to sound Rasta. I’m just trying to be precise.) It just felt nice. 

You’ve been in my mind ever since. I’d love to see you again, even if you were scowling at me earlier and even if you didn’t wink at me, even if you did notice the milkshake stain and thought it made me a slob. Even if you thought the all-white gear made me look like some crazy preacher or cult member, it would be great to see you again. 

This is such a long-shot, but I really hope you find this ad and get in touch. 

Dreaming of white butterflies on black eye patches…and scowls… 

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I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going to imagine that this is about two real people just looking for love.